There’s a saying that goes, “We are only as sick as our secrets.” So, in an effort to live a healthy life both physically and emotionally, I’m coming clean. There’s an ugly secret about caregiving, at least for me, though I imagine, I hope, I am not alone. As grateful as I am for the privilege of caring for my mother, I get frustrated.
I get frustrated with my mom’s diseases and conditions. I get frustrated with insurance companies making health decisions for my mom and the never-ending paperwork to keep her covered, treated, and medicated appropriately. I even get frustrated with my mom. There, I said it. Now, before you freak out, let me assure you, she gets frustrated with me too. We are two imperfect humans who get tired, cranky, and sometimes say hurtful things. (I’ve been told I can be quite dramatic and sarcastic, so that doesn’t always help either:)
But instead of pretending that I never get frustrated, or angry, or tired, or annoyed, I accept that this is the case, but I also know that I can either hold on to that frustration or I can release it and reach for something else, something better.